


bubble on kettle and make us all some tea

by cuppydogcity



Series: it's a walk-along day [1]
Category: Half-Life
Genre: (basically everything is okay now), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Happy Ending, Hopeful Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Literal Sleeping Together, M/M, Post-Canon, Reunions, Selectively Mute Gordon Freeman, Trauma, deaf gordon freeman, half life 2 spoilers, headcrabs are indestructible, showers are basically therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-30
Updated: 2020-07-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:53:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25607659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cuppydogcity/pseuds/cuppydogcity
Summary: Gordon deals with the immediate aftereffects of winning a war, and reunites with a much-missed friend.
Relationships: Barney Calhoun & Gordon Freeman, Barney Calhoun/Gordon Freeman, Gordon Freeman & Alyx Vance
Series: it's a walk-along day [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1856044
Comments: 8
Kudos: 157





	bubble on kettle and make us all some tea

**Author's Note:**

> SO. i finished episode 2 today and i went 'hm i think that they should be happy' and so i decided to take matters into my own hands. lyrics are once again taken from jog along bess!
> 
> notes: there are no new trigger warnings for the series, though there is a brief scene where alyx and gordon talk about eli's death. if you want to skip this, stop reading at "Gordon thanked her. He paused for a moment,", and start again at “I’m gonna go have my shower now, okay?”
> 
> i hope you enjoy!!
> 
> oct 14 edit: i rewrote this so it's a lot better now! sorry i havent updated for like a month now but im gonna re-edit all the other fics in this series so that i like them more and i WILL finish this series i promise :-)  
> i fixed wording and also the timeline!

Gordon walked through the huge doors of the White Forest to a crush of people, all cheering and whooping.

He could hear people call out encouragement, reunite with each other, the sounds weaving together into a noisy tapestry. It overloaded his hearing aid, but he was too exhausted to turn it down.

People were rushing up to him to thank him personally, shaking his hand and looking into his eyes. Though some were crying and loud while others were more stoney-faced, each of them had the same hopeful expression twinkling in their eyes.

This week had been one of the hardest yet. The Combine forces remaining on Earth knew that they were fewer and weaker than they had ever been - for the first time, they were outnumbered. Their fighting techniques were scrappy and underhanded, and their uniforms hung strangely off of their malnourished bodies. Some part of Gordon almost felt pity watching their desperate maneuvers, but looking at his allies, or cataloguing his own wounds, for that matter, soon dried it up.

While he had been almost dead on his feet for the last three days, stumbling forward on willpower alone, this time was different. He didn’t know how to relax, how to deal with the fact that the next attack wouldn’t come. Muscles he didn’t know could tense were, painfully, as the adrenaline rush crashed through his veins with no outlet.

  
He knew, logically, he was safer now than he had been for months.

Still, his hands shook and grasped for a gun he didn’t have.

The din quieted slightly as someone made a large gesture and shouted something. Gordon looked up, his eyes trained for any sudden movement, to see Alyx shouting “Alright, everyone, let’s give Gordon here some space.”, signing along.

He could have collapsed with relief as people gave him a slightly wider berth. Though the crowd was still loud, less people were talking directly at him. He looked up at Alyx, made brief eye contact, and nodded once. He hoped she understood.

She looked exhausted. The bags under both of their eyes had increased, but Gordon had never really registered just how much until now. He vowed to let her have half of his portion of meat at their next meal.

Alyx had saved him more times than he can count. Hell, he wouldn’t be here right now if Alyx’s first action wasn’t saving him from some Combine. The lingering link between them the Vortigaunts had given, as well as the fact they had fought and traveled together for weeks now, had given them a level of nonverbal communication he didn’t have with anyone else. She gave him a tight smile, and turned around to talk to someone behind her.

Once he had passed the crowd, his thoughts were more coherent. Vaguely, he remembered there was a bathroom around here. Dirt chafed at his joints, and his already-existent aches were much worse after Gordon had been pushing himself past the point of exhaustion for the past week. He had last shed his HEV suit almost twelve days ago - he was almost afraid to look, now.

He clumsily signed a few apologies to people he bumped into as he made his way towards the bathroom. Of course, they didn’t mind.

The bathroom was identified first by a sign that read ‘don’t use the shower if you won’t unclog the drain!’ written in very recognizable handwriting, and second by a small placard next to the door.

He closed the door to the bathroom, relishing the silence that came with it. The overstimulation of the crowd was behind him.

The bathroom was small, but not cramped. It had a shower, thankfully, which was attached to the wall over a bathtub. Combine-brand shampoo and body wash were perched on the lip of the tub.  _ No use wasting perfectly good supplies just because of who produced them _ was a common mindset of the resistance.

There was a raggedy mat next to the tub, as well as a sink and toilet. In the cabinet under the sink were some spare hand soap and toothpaste, as well as tampons.

He sat down on the seat of the toilet and willed himself to look down and take stock of his hazard suit. It was crusted with various biological materials, mainly blood and gore, as well as general grime and potentially some toxic waste.

His muscles protested painfully as he squeezed and wrenched and fought his way out of the suit.

It was absurd to think this might be the last time he might ever take it off.

Ungracefully tugging himself out of it, hacking at locks and layers of dirt with a crowbar, writhing around in a bathroom, was a far departure from the sophisticated, professional, and clean manner he had first put it on, back in Black Mesa. He’s glad Dr Kleiner isn’t here to see this. It seems.. Kind of disrespectful.

Before he completely discarded his HEV suit, he looked around for a quick moment.

Oh -- there. Gordon investigated a cabinet that had been left slightly ajar.

It seemed as though someone had thought ahead - tucked inside, there was a change of clothes. A simple white linen tee-shirt and some pants.

He pulled the rest of his suit off in a hurry, caring less about their condition. He felt almost desperate to leave it behind. Any lingering attachment had fizzled out by the time he had started to claw his way out of it.

The clothes were slightly dusty and moth-eaten, and would likely be too large for his frame, but he rubbed them between his fingers and relished their softness.

He shoved the pile of HEV suit components into an empty laundry basket, which was then shoved into a corner.

It felt strange to not be carrying an extra forty pounds around with every step - already his aches lessened.

He hesitated for a moment on what to do with his hearing aids - he elected to leave them on the counter in the bathroom, covered with a towel. While they were a fair amount more water-resistant than the ones he used to have, they weren’t indestructible, and he wasn’t keen on having to wait for replacements.

The water jittered out of the shower, first frigid and slightly tinged with red-brown.

It slowly started to both heat and clear up, and it was soon pounding crystal clear water into the bathtub and filling the room with steam.

He stepped in shakily; immediately the feeling of days-old dirt, sweat and blood loosening themselves started to relax his shoulders. He looked down, grimacing at the fact that all of the debris that was turning the water almost opaque brown was caked onto  _ him _ . 

The warmth of the water began to tug at some of the knots in his shoulders - but soon the heat spread to his legs, and he had to quickly grip the lip of the tub as the bathtub floor rushed up to meet him as they gave out.

Sitting down was the better option, he decided, not wanting someone to have to rush in to save him. 

He snorted a laugh at the thought.

Defeating the Combine only to die in the shower an hour later.

The headlines came to him as he squirted some cheap apple-scented shampoo into his hands and rubbed it deep into his scalp, massaging the sore area from where he kept his ponytail in too long.

_ One Free Man Dies In The Tub - ‘it was really embarrassing-looking, I think he was crying,’ said one witness. _

Man, if only some of his old Black Mesa coworkers could hear about that. Famously uptight Gordon literally dying from relaxation.

If Barney could hear that, man -- 

A jolt of anxiety shot into his stomach. Where was Barney? Gordon hadn’t seen him in the White Forest at all. He still hadn’t come back by the time they left for their most recent trip out. The last time anyone had seen Barney, to his knowledge, was when he had left on the train.

Is it possible that they didn’t..?

No, Gordon decided, shaking his head to try to clear his mind.

There was no way that Barney didn’t make it out of the train. Uriah was just too busy to give him an update, that’s all.

Still. The idea of it made his stomach turn. He took a handful of the body wash, and went back for a third round to truly make sure he was clean. The removal of the layers of grime that had coated him for so long was amazing. Gordon had never liked the feeling of being sweaty - he had cursed Black Mesa many times for being in the middle of a desert.

Steadily, he pulled himself out of the tub. He went slowly and steadily, testing which muscles could bear weight in what position; he could easily see himself cracking his head on the sink if he pushed himself too hard.

He looked at himself in the mirror once he was standing as straight as he was able.

Blue and purple bruises marred his skin, as well as cuts and scrapes from where the HEV suit had teared.

The blood had been washed away and many of his wounds had begun to scab, but many of them were tender from the water and were very prone to reopening lest he make the wrong movement. The mental image of himself leaving a trail of blood wherever he went was very funny in concept, but not something he’d want to see in real life.

He sat on the toilet seat again, and pulled the spare clothes on. He stood up, and marveled again at how things were so much easier when he didn’t have to compensate for a heavy polymer suit. 

The breeze from the slightly-cracked window ghosted over hair on his legs and stomach that had been compressed for days, and he felt them twinge as they righted themselves. Weird.

He patted his ears dry with a towel and put his hearing aids back in, and draped the same towel over his shoulders to catch any stray drips from his hair. He headed out of the bathroom door with two things on his mind; firstly, he wanted to find some info about Barney’s group. Second, he wanted to check on Alyx.

While this had been hard for him, he knows it’s been even harder for her. Eli died roughly a month ago, now, and this is the first time that they’ve had to actually relax and start to process it.

He waved down the first person he saw. A woman, though he couldn’t remember her name, if he had ever known it.

“Do you know where Barney is?” he signed.

“Sorry, Doctor Freeman, I don’t. I haven’t been informed for the past couple days about what’s happened, but last I heard communication with other groups was shot to hell. Something about Combine radio waves, I think. I wish you the best, though.” She answered with an apologetic smile and ran to catch up to her friend, who was waiting for her at the end of the hallway. He watched them meet up, and talk animatedly about something.

The trek back to where he had come in was a good chance for him to gingerly stretch out his muscles. He felt much better after his shower, almost like a real person again.

He looked around for a second before spotting her - Alyx was sitting on a raggedy sofa, nursing a bottle of something. They waved briefly to each other.

“And then, after that, I’m gonna visit my favourite pub, and buy you all a round!” someone shouted, the only person who was standing up; everyone else was sat down and draped over various storage crates and other furniture. Everyone cheered at the idea of free alcohol, comfort in familiarity, ignoring for now the idea that bars might not exist again in their lifetime. 

Someone else had stood up, and had begun to speak about what  _ they  _ would do next, their voice filled with emotion and cheer.

Gordon sat down beside Alyx, the couch creaking under his weight. They smiled at each other, comfortable in each other’s presence.

“Hey, Gordon. I see you’ve found the showers. That was quick.”

He nodded, slightly sheepishly.

His shower had cleared his head and renewed his energy some; he felt a little bad, leaving her without a proper explanation. He could see that her face was deeply lined with exhaustion and pain, and the bags under her eyes were even deeper than he had first thought. Outlines of bruises and scars peeked from under her sleeves, and he knew she would be in a similar condition to him.

“I’m probably going to take a shower, too, before Jones can hog it. You know, he’s used up all the hot water  _ six times _ . He’s lucky people haven’t torn him limb from limb.”

“Have you--” Gordon started, but Alyx raised a hand.

“One second. It’s too noisy here, we can talk outside. I’ve kind of been wanting a break, anyway.”

She turned to the crowd, “You hear that, Jones? We all know it was you using the water!” She shouted, to which everyone roared with jeers directed towards one tall-looking man in the corner.

Jones looked very unapologetic.

“Come on, that’ll keep them busy for a while. We can talk in private now.” She stood up, straightening out her back with a few pops and painful-sounding crunches.

They walked out of the room as the group started to list their petty grievances - everyone shouted in agreement after each one, and added their own.

Alyx shut the door behind them, muffling the crowd. “So, what did you want to ask me?” she asked, leaning on the wall casually.

“I was wondering if you heard anything about Barney’s group?” he signed

She nodded, “Yeah, me and Dr Kleiner got a transmission about it not too long ago, maybe a couple hours? I was going to tell you, but honestly, you didn’t look like you could handle anything other than a sit down. No offense.

His group is heading up our way, along with some more refugees they picked up - this place is big enough and well-stocked enough that it’s been decided as a temporary place for them to stay until we can start the rebuilding projects and get people more permanent housing.”

Gordon thanked her. He paused for a moment, trying to phrase his next sentence as best as he can.

“How are you holding up?” he asked.

“As well as I can. It’s.. it’s not easy. It’s hell of a lot better now I know we don’t have to go charging out again soon, though.” Her grim smile lessened slightly, giving way to a more somber, sincere expression. “Me and a few other people are going to have a.. A service, for my dad. There’s going to be a big public memorial, of course, but.. We wanted to have one with those closest to him, too. Send him off that way. You’re welcome to come, if you want.”

  
  


His heart clenched again at the loss of Eli. They had been friends for so long, even back in Black Mesa. He needed to be there, for both Eli and Alyx

He nodded yes to going to the memorial quickly, before tilting his head with a question. Alyx gave a small nod, eyes still downcast, before he enveloped her in a hug.

She quickly hugged him back, her breath already starting to catch. They stayed there for a long moment, Gordon rubbing comforting circles on her back.

“Thank you, Gordon.” she said after she pulled away. “I’m gonna go have my shower now, okay?”

He nodded. “If you need anything, don’t be afraid to ask me. Now, and at any time in the future.” He gave her hand a small, comforting squeeze.

Alyx, in return, gave him a small smile and nod, before she headed into the bathroom.

Gordon walked further along the hallways. His assigned room was somewhere around here, he was sure.

Almost everyone else was assigned four-to-a-room to save space, but he was allowed his own. Being the One Free Man had its perks, he supposed. Same with Alyx, and presumably Dr Kleiner.

He padded softly through the hallways, occasionally passing a room that was buzzing bright and warm with people celebrating their hard-won victories over a drink or two, or ten.

Every few groups would call out to him, and they would all cheer.

Almost every time he would get embarrassed, his face flushing and his pace quickening, after he nodded a quick thank you.

As Gordon rounded a corner, he heard a familiar voice. “..over there, but I don’t think they’re open right now..”

Aches started to nag at him as his pace quickened, eager to round the corner. Gordon rapped once on the wall to announce his presence - it worked, as the source of the voice spun around quickly.

Barney’s black hair, now streaked with grey at the temples, was muddy and falling over his face. Gordon watched as Barney’s facial expression melted from confusion to fondness.

“Well I’ll be damned.”

Gordon rushed up before he could stop himself. He enveloped Barney in a hug, his second hug of the day.

Gordon was never particularly good with giving or receiving affection, and had always considered himself awkward at it. But some people, like Barney and Alyx, made it easy. Hugging them was like second nature.

“Oof, easy there.” Barney said, and patted Gordon’s back, a sign to break the hug.

Gordon could see his eyes scanning his face, lingering at the cuts, scars, and bruises that now littered it.

Gordon realized that Barney’s arm was in a sling, and so was his leg.

The other people in the group said their goodbyes, and were led off by a Vortigaunt.

Gordon noted that they were mainly refugees; he tried to pick out any faces he recognized, but they were gone before he could make any connections.

“Sorry for rushing up like that, Barney. I just..” Gordon trailed off, his hands hovering for a moment before dropping to his sides.

“You’re lucky I’m injured, I thought you were a sneak attack for a second. I woulda whalloped you with this thing, and then where would we be?” he joked, raising his injured arm. “But, no, I do understand. It’s.. it’s really good to see you again, Gordon.” His voice crackled with emotion.

Barney pulled him into another hug, his good arm resting atop Gordon’s back.

“I was really worried when I heard about everything that happened - about Eli, especially. How’s Alyx doing?” His voice softened.

“About as well as she could be. You can ask her about it later, she’s showering right now.” Gordon said, being the one to break the hug this time.

Barney straightened up.

He put his good arm on his hip, and looked at Gordon. There was a good-natured shine in his eye again, as dimmed with grief and exhaustion as it may be.

“I’m glad this place has showers. Clothes, too, by the looks of it.” He cast a glance down at Gordon’s outfit, “Your HEV suit’d be complaining of a biological hazard if you were wearing it near me right now!” he laughed, and punched Gordon’s arm slightly as emphasis.

Gordon laughed, too, silent shakes of his shoulders with a snort here and there. It was good to have Barney back. It wouldn’t fix things, but even his presence helped.

Gordon showed him to the nearest bathroom, opening the door.

“If you need anything, my room is around the corner.” He mirrored what he said with Alyx.

He turned to leave, and was about to close the door, when he heard Barney’s voice. He turned around again.

“Hey, is it okay if I..?” He looked at Gordon, an unspoken question plain in his eyes.

He nodded, and Barney’s expression softened with relief.

“Thanks.”

He shut the door quietly, and set off to his room.

He could see that Dr Kleiner was coming down the hall. Dr Kleiner straightened up when he saw Gordon, his hands raised to ask a question. Gordon quickly informed him that Barney was in that washroom, Alyx was in another washroom, and his HEV suit was in the one near the entrance, in a crate.

Dr Kleiner nodded gratefully.

“Ah, Gordon, before you leave - you, you haven’t seen Lamarr, have you? In this big of a facility, I shudder to think of having to crawl through the vents to find her agai--!!” his question was cut off by a shriek from the vents, followed by something launching itself onto him.

“Ah! Lamarr! You’re here!” Dr Kleiner’s eyes lit up, and he held Lamarr like a baby, gently rocking her. “I’m here now, I’m here..” he murmured soothingly. To her credit, Lamarr seemed to be relishing the attention.

Gordon cast a glance that was equal parts suspicious and incredulous at Lamarr, before waving goodbye and leaving. He was glad that Dr Kleiner had such a .. resilient companion. Seriously, didn’t she get blasted into space..?

He opened the door to his new room, scanning it instinctually.

It wasn’t very big, but there was a dresser, a lone window, and a few chests containing ammo, as well as a small stash of medkits.

The sheets were scratchy and not as clean as he’d like, much like everything in the White Forest seemed to be. Still, the way his muscles screamed the second he lay down, he knew he wasn’t going to be able to stay awake for much longer, the state of the sheets be damned. He only just about remembered to take out his hearing aids.

He had already dozed off when he felt light cascading across his face. He shot awake immediately, ignoring the way his back wrenched painfully as he sat up. One hand groped for a shotgun that had been by him every time he slept for two weeks now, while the other hand quickly attached his hearing aid.

“Hey, hey, easy, Gordon, it’s just me!” came Barney’s voice. He was silhouetted by the light from the hallway, his face blanketed in darkness.

  
Gordon blinked the sleep from his eyes, and felt his face grow hot with shame.

He signed out a quick apology.

Barney closed the door, and came over to sit down on the bed. “Hey, I get it. After everything, I’d be throwing bricks in glass houses to judge you for it.”

Gordon shifted over, allowing Barney space to crawl into bed. He understood the need to not be alone. He and Alyx had slept in shifts when they were traveling together, and only then had he felt secure enough to try and wring out a couple hours of shuteye a night.

Barney sidled over, and burrowed under the blankets until he was comfortably cocooned.

He relaxed with a sigh. “Man, I didn’t realize how sore I was until that shower. I was afraid I was gonna keel over, and you’d have to peel me from the tiles with your little gravity gun.”

Gordon barked out a silent laugh at that.

“I was worried when I didn’t hear anything about your group. I didn’t know what happened to you, nobody did.” Barney pulled him closer, until they were pressed against each other, side by side. Barney’s good arm was slung across his shoulders.

“It’s alright. We’re both here now, and that’s what counts. We’re both okay.” The tone of his voice suggested Gordon was not the only one he was trying to reassure.

They stayed there in silence for a long moment, hearing the hum of electricity from outside the room, and listening to the voices echoing down the hallways.

“How long do you think they’ll keep that up?” Barney joked, softly. This close Gordon could feel the vibrations each word made. He realized, too, that he could hear Barney’s pulse; steady and strong. Gradually, he began to relax.

Gordon smiled slightly, and shrugged. He took out his hearing aid and handed it, as well as his glasses, to Barney, who put it on the table next to him.

Soon he felt Barney’s breaths even out and keep a steady pace, and felt himself slowly drifting off, too.

  
~~~

Barney flung open the curtain that obscured the meager window in the room.

Gordon made a face at the sunlight that was cascading almost directly into his eyes. “Go away. Sleeping.” he signed with one hand, cracking open one eye to look at Barney’s response. He fumbled his glasses on.

“Jeez, Gordy, what do you think everyone out there would say if they knew the great One Free Man was an incorrigible blanket hog?”

Barney had a bad habit of being awake from the second he opened his eyes. The man slept like the dead, but once he was up, he was  _ up _ , and he expected everyone else to be, too.

Gordon raised an arm to swat at him playfully, but his muscles screamed with every movement, so he left it.

“Oh, shush. I only woke you up ‘cause they’re serving breakfast soon, and I know you haven’t had coffee in weeks.” Barney said.

Gordon’s eyes finally opened at this. He can’t deny his vices.

  
“Ah! So he wakes! C’mon, Doc, I got you some new civvies for you, unless you wanna get in your HEV suit again. Orange is a good colour on you. Get dressed and we’ll go - Alyx said she wants us to combine forces and take all the casseroles before someone takes ‘em all.” Barney set some clothes on the foot of the bed, and left to give Gordon some privacy.

Gordon pulled them on gingerly, taking care not to overstrain his muscles. He looked outside - it was overcast, but rays of sunlight peeked through, giving the promise of a warm day ahead. He got up to get a better look at the window, stretching out his legs as he went.]

The forest atmosphere was so different to the scenery he’d grown used to at Black Mesa, it was almost surreal. The trees were starting to shed their leaves, and swathes of orange, gold, and red blew by in the wind as they were carried on to places unknown.

He wondered idly if anyone wanted to go fishing with him later; one late night, Alyx had told him all about the cool fish that she’d found around here sometime. She had caught a huge trout, but Eli had made her throw it back due to the fact it was probably horrifically irradiated.

The sunlight was starting to evaporate the morning mist that blanketed the forest, and he breathed in some fresh air. 

He relaxed his shoulders.

Even if he didn’t go today, that was alright, he decided.

They had plenty of time.

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you enjoyed this!! <3 kudos and comments are very, very much appreciated! i'd love to hear your thoughts :-)  
> have a good day!!


End file.
